• Steve

Why Are You Not Setting Them Goals?


Settings goals does not need to be scary.
Photo by Markus Winkler from Pexels


Goal setting......people think that this has to be a huge deal. Like a goal needs to be big. Some people will set goals and then look at the goal as way to big. WHY? Well, I think intimidation. If you write any large goal down at the top of a piece of paper then sit looking at it your mind is going to give you every reason not to go for it. Especially if you have a mental health issue. The thinking of..."I could never get to that" Or "How the heck am I gonna manage to get there". "I don't know what I'm doing". "I'm not qualified to get there". There are many many reasons that the brain will come up with to stop you and take the "easy" option of just not going for it. As soon as the mind starts on the spiral of negative thinking it's gonna be a hard one to pull back. The goal itself is just the end result of what you want or where you want to get too right? So yeah its gonna look overwhelming. A PLAN has to be put into place.


Now a plan for some people can be intimidating too. Why? Well because a lot of people want to think of every single case scenario of what can or could go wrong. So that IF the situation was to come up they have an idea of how to approach it to keep moving forward towards the goal. Sorry guys, you can not think of everything that may come up. The "bad" things that may happen. I call these things that come up "Bumps" and they will come no matter how hard ya PLAN.


I look at the "bumps" as learning experiences that we need to know to get to our goals. Its what makes us better people. Do ya just give up because a "bump" is there? Some do unfortunately and then never get to see what they could have accomplished. A boxer takes a few on the chin before becoming a champion right? How do they become champions? They learn what went wrong. Their "bump" was getting beat even maybe knocked out. How do ya think you walked? Ya fell a lot! may even bashing ya head a few times. Did ya quit? Obviously not, cause unless you were born not being able to walk I take it ya walked in the end. I call plans an outline toward a goal. Outline because ya don't know the whole picture. That's to be figured out along the way. Which really is the fun part by the way. It's the UNKNOWN that's scary but trust me, the unknown has a lot to offer and I would say the biggest percentage of it that you will face is gonna bring you so much joy. So many accomplishments. Growing happens within yourself as you start to discover what you are capable of doing. Meeting new people. Doing things you have not done before. LEARNING!!!! How is any of this scary? I know what ya thinking....what does this guy know. Well, I have had two careers gone due to my anxiety. I certainly feared the unknown a lot more then I do now. I say now because I started seeing what came out of the unknown. And everything I spoke about happened to me. Do I still get those jitters? Sure do but I ain't letting it stop me now. And the more I do the more I learn and see what I can do.


Ya see I went into therapy after years of not doing it because I hit my bottom of going suicidal. I met my therapist Judith and a whole new journey started. After about a year I started going into Judith's office to help her with other people with energy healing. Something else that I now do. I would sit off to the side and listen to a little bit of the session too before we started the healing. Then I was asked if I had anything to say. I started giving my opinions. Saying what I have done for my Mental health situations. Judith started to bring me in more. Which yeah! I had anxiety over at first. I have never done anything remotely like this. But Judith kept reassuring me that I had a talent for this. Then I was coming in and helping with full sessions. Again scary but I just kept saying yeah I'll do it. So many times those bumps stopped me in the past....not now! Then an Intern that Judith had taken on, quit. Leaving Judith now with a bit of a challenge. The Intern had clients that she was working on. One day I walked into Judith's office on my weekly session of my own. Judith looks at me and says, "I'd like ya to step into the intern's shoes". WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLD UP!!!!!!! The breaks went on. Why? The unknown. Judith has FULL faith in me and said you can do this. Yep, fear was big. all the questions..."I'm not qualified". "I don't know what I'm doing". What if things go wrong?" What if something comes up I can't handle?". Yep, all the unknowns, right? But I was done with the fear keep beating me back.


I sit now and have a client of my own and looking to build. I still work with Judith and clients and love it. Judith is an absolute blessing. I report to her on everything. If I have questions I ask. I don't pretend to know. I am learning a lot. I have met a lot of fantastic people from different walks of life. When I see the results of when a person is helped it's massively rewarding. I have not felt that kind of reward. A reward that goes with the person for their lifetime. I'm also working towards a certification now and have signed up for three online courses to further my education in the field.


Now I study and research everything. I watch many videos of interviews all about improving ourselves and the mind. I have books some just on breathing. Yep, there is a whole science behind that too. Judith and I talk a lot and help a lot of people with energy healing and everyday therapy required situations. Not only does it help others we work on but helps me too. Would any of this of happened if I had stopped and said NO?!!!!!! Not gonna happen!!!! No way...I'd still be the same as I was before all this started. Yeah, there have been situations come up. The "Bumps" But, I figured it out. Sometimes on the job. Guess what? I learned from them. I see that I could handle it. If I could have seen some of these things coming before I started it may have been scary enough to stop me in my tracks. But that's the "bumps" on the PLAN towards ya GOAL.


A less intimidating method to write a plan towards ya goal is to write the GOAL at the top of a piece of paper. Then work backward from there with ya PLAN to get there. So ya working from the biggest things at the top down to the smallest. The smallest things on the plan maybe something like, read or research methods, etc to get to the goal.


EXAMPLE:


Learn how to Cook a boiled Egg (This is ya goal)


1) Serving the egg on a clean dish

2) What type of dish

3) Boiling for the correct amount of time.

4) Place egg in water

5) Fill pot bring to boil

6) What type of pot

7) Research pots

8) Research cooking eggs for right doneness.


The numbers 1 - 8 are just guides and the order ya write the PLAN in. Hardest first and work back.


You will be more inclined to get a PLAN written this way because instead of going from the smallest and simplest things and seeing progress to the hardest. Ya mind is going to see it the other way around. From the hardest to the smallest. Ya mind has a bigger "defeat" thought the harder it sees things progressing then things getting smaller and simpler.


Also, make smaller goals. Then work up. Like a diet plan. Don't look at the top and losing 20lb in 6 months. Look at the smaller daily or weekly goals to get you there. As you see the smaller goals being completed it will give the mind that winning feeling. Its when you write a big goal for 6 months to a year and ten hit bumps that ya are more likely to stop with the thought of its unobtainable


So don't let "Bumps" stop you from your goals. Grab a pen and paper and get started. You will be surprised at what you can do. How will you know......


IF YOU DONT START!


Namaste


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