I wanted to do a blog on a very special lady to me. There are people that walk into ya life that completely change that life around. They teach, they have great energy. They show compassion, empathy and love from the heart. They are rare and when they do walk into ya life ya don’t let them go. That person for me is Judith. Judith is my therapist and a friend.
Judith is an amazing human being. Has a huge heart. Has a loving compassionate way. A person that once ya meet them ya wonder how ya did without them. Our relationship did not start like that though. So let me start from the beginning.
I have Anxiety and Depression and have had for many years. The Depression came later but always had anxiety. I went through many therapists and Psychiatrists. Was on all different types of medication. Some a cocktail of 2 or 3. Only ones that worked was Lithium (calmed my temper) and Xanax. I say Xanax worked but all it did was Zombie me out. So, did it work, really? I kept going back to the last Psychiatrist I was seeing and the last straw was when he got mad. I was saying how the medications isn’t doing it. He just said “Well come off it then” So I did. Worse thing ever to do with heavy medications. I went into withdrawal. Shaking, feeling cold, you name it. I remember thinking after I got through it that its what I have seen on T.V who thought it would happen to me. Anyway, I was done. Done with therapy, done with medication, just done!
I went on like this for many years. I guess being stuck. Stuck within my own mind. Riveted in fear and not going forward. It got to a point where my wife said “I’m getting you help” I went dark is why she said it. Noooooo way…..I aint doing no more therapy and sure aint going on no more medication. Been there and done that. But, if my wife is adamant then it’s going to happen.
Bio after Bio was put in front of me. Nope, nope, nope…..I wasn’t interested in what I was seeing. Pics of these people in a suit or suit and tie. Nope aint gonna happen. Same old same old. Then I get called in to the room by my wife. She turns the computer around and there is Judith. A pic of her, in her yard with a big floppy hat on. I must have been picking up on energy then and not realizing it. If I was going to have to do therapy again, then yep this is the one.
1st appointment. Did I wanna go? Heck no!! But my wife came with me. She says, to make sure I went. Which I find funny now. Cause I look forward to speaking with Judith now. But then, nah! It was gonna be therapy…..again! I cant remember saying much but made another appointment for the following week.
As meetings went on, I became more open. Started learning about different ways. Guidance in the direction of being spiritual, working with energy, etc. led me to Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism and anything else I could, and can, get my hands on. Then I walked into Judith one day and said “I need to leave old Steve behind”. Judith looked at me and said, “What do ya mean?”” I have to completely step out of old Steve and into a new and growing Steve”. “I have to leave behind what I thought I was and be who I am finding”. The journey began and is ongoing. It will never end I will always be seeking who I am. What I am capable of and who the true Steve is and becoming.
If it was not for Judith this journey would not have started. Judith has put me on a new Career path too. I never thought I would enjoy a job like I do now. I help others. I help others start their own journeys. Discovering themselves and who they really are. I have the best teacher I could wish for, Judith.
This is truly an amazing lady. She saved me from myself. I have no words for the gratitude I have for this great lady. She has got me through some tough spots. I can’t even believe who I am now to who I was. This great lady sees in me what I could not see. The trust and faith she has in me lets me know that how can I “Fail” when Judith is in my corner. I say “Fail” but failure is only when ya quit. Judith will not allow that to happen to me. An I am there for the people I help too. I am not judged by Judith for being in a rough spot. It makes me stronger. It makes me stronger cause I have been guided to question things and not just let the thoughts take over. I am not bullet proof by any means. We all have not so good days. But I know I can turn to Judith and figure things out. I have always held up my hand and say when I am wrong, its part of healing.
Judith may be my therapist but she’s also a cherished friend also. Id do anything for her. I can’t imagine Judith not being there. I call her my Guru. I sure look up to her. The way she works with people and helps those in deep trauma is awesome. They say find somebody as a mentor. I did. It was meant to happen. There is no doubt in my mind. The person I was does not exist. I have worked hard at it. Listening to Judith’s guidance and putting into practice what was being taught. If it wasn’t for Judith’s guidance, love and compassion I don’t know where I would be right now. I’m completely transparent with Judith. I can ask her anything. I have NEVER had a therapist like this.
Thanks Judith, I have no words for the amount of love and gratitude I have for you. You have changed my life in more ways than I thought possible. You have always been there. I have come to you at times not in a good place and ya worked ya magic and got me through. I never thought I would have the life I have now. You completely turned me around. How do you ever find the right words of thanks for that. I would not have this career that you helped me start. I would not have met many awesome people, including ya daughters. I would not be doing any of this Journey if it was not for you. You have never given up on me. You have always had my back. You never judge me for who I was and give nothing but praise for who I am becoming. You have had faith in me right through this journey. Showing me the way to things I have not seen or experienced. You have made me “Hungry” for knowledge. Always looking to better myself. You have shown me things that I didnt even know was there. Like energy and energy work. I would not hold my certification in energy work if it wasn't for you. You have guided me to like myself. I didn’t even know what that meant until you started showing me. I am so thrilled that our paths crossed. You truly are an amazing human being.
My therapist. My friend, Judith.