Do you like them What Ifs?
OK, First off I want to say that as I am traveling this journey that I'm on, I look at everything. Read and research a lot and use what I read. Plus, helping others with what I am doing and learning too. A lot of what I believe in is down to different ways of doing and thinking. Indian, Chinese, whatever it is, If I think that way will help then I'm in!
One YouTube vid I was watching was talking about Yin and Yang. Which for those that don't know is from something else I follow known as Taoism. Yin and Yang are like opposites but one doesn't do without the other blending into one. Night and Day, Hot and Cold, Wet and Dry. So with that being said, why are we not using this for our negative thinking?
That brings me to what-ifs.
Anxiety for me can be made up of What If thinking. Some people I believe most of their negative, anxiety-provoking thinking, comes from what if. Let's say you make arrangments to meet a friend. They call you and you are very excited. You ain't seen them in a while and want to catch up. But as the date or time gets closer, the mind starts. What if I don't like the food? What if I cant find parking? What if I don't have enough money to pay? What if they bring other people I don't know? What if they want to go somewhere after? WHAT IF, WHAT IF, WHAT IF........ya get the picture? And yes these things have gone through my head. Then the thinking starts the anxiety going. The dreaded body feeling that seems to tag on to the thinking and is getting louder. Now ya start looking for excuses not to go. Even faking things. "Sorry, something came over me last night and I'm not feeling well". "I must of ate something and not feeling good" "I have somebody coming over to check the air conditioning" ya look for anything that A. gets you out of it and B. is not gonna make you look bad. Cause that's a whole new set of anxiety if ya go feeling bad. Right?
But, why do we put a negative label on a What If? Its always what if and negatives, right? Well, back to our Yin and Yang If we can think a negative thought after a What if, why can't we say a positive after a what if? What if you do like the food. In fact, check the place out where ya going first if ya know where. If you don't know where you are going no big deal. I am total plant base and I always tell people don't worry about me, there is always something. And there has been. Even if its a salad with oil and vinegar. Are you going to not see ya friend because of the food? That you have options to pick from? With parking, what if is always loud with me. I have a problem with knowing about parking for some reason. I think it's down to parallel parking but not sure. BUT.....that being said, What if there is parking? Cars normally have back up cameras now too. I know I have used them and it is way easier to park anywhere with them things. Another idea, I would think that if ya that close to this friend that they know about ya anxieties with parking. Well, What if ya can ask to meet them in a parking lot you know of and ride with them some of the way. Not only are you not so anxious but your spending more time with ya friends riding to the place right? What if you do have enough money to pay? There is always a card. Or What if ya can ask ya friend, to help and ya will get it back to them. Or what if ya can check first with the place you're going to, get some pricing, and take out more cash to cover you. That's what I do. Always cover yourself. So they bring somebody with them last minute. What if you make a great new friend? What if you have a tonne in common? What if it becomes a date? So they want to go somewhere after and you don't right? What if ya say I would rather not, I want to just get home and relax. Good friends understand that right? It's your right not to have to follow and be your own person. OR, What if they speak about a place you LOVE. A little coffee place that you dig.? or a book shop that you visit regularly?
So, as ya can see, what-ifs don't need to be bad thinking. There is some major, bigger and better positives then ya what if negatives. We end up missing out on opportunities all because of the two words What if. Why? Well, we think the same pattern every time because our mind knows no different. We have to put forth effort to change the negative What if, into a Positive what if. As we keep this effort up the mind will start to reprogram into the, ok well there is this positive option too.
Keep talking back to ya negatives. remember Yin and Yang. If there is a negative statement or thought then there is a positive. Say the positive even if right now ya not believing it. Remember ya have an old program that needs a rewrite. Yes, it may not be easy but like I tell my girls......
HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT!