• Steve

Fear!!


Fear comes in many ways. Finding the root cause may help you.

Everybody has fear at some point in their lives. It comes upon us sometimes fast and quick or builds up. But to a lot of us with mental health, fear can be confusing to us. We fear things as simple as maybe having to pick up a phone. Go outside. Meeting a group of people we may not know. It's everyday situations that seem to us everybody else can do without a problem and yet we get overwhelmed with fear. Anger can also come out, which covers fear. Anger can be a cover for a lot of different emotions. I have even been asked to go out on a Friday by a mate and said no because of the overwhelming fear. The first reaction I notice is heat. I will get a whoosh of heat rush up my body to my head. Like I just ran for a bus. A sweaty kind of heat. I sometimes will feel my pulse in my neck get stronger and because of the focus is now on body reactions they get stronger and so the anxiety kicks in. I don't want to upset the friend by saying no but the anxiety is stronger. It's overwhelming. Thank God my mate understands my anxiety. I sat him down a long time ago and told him what goes on, on a day to day basis. I even said to him that there is nothing more that I would like then to go out and enjoy myself with him. But the damn fear and anxiety wins. It's annoying to me. I hate the fact that this is what happens and I miss out on a lot. Especially in the past. I have lost a great catering career because of it and when I went into pest control it cost me that career too. "Just do it" I hear......well if it was that easy don't ya think I would be doing what I love. I would still be Cheffing.


The phone is another of my fears. Even though I have been doing better. A lot better. IT would ring, and even though I knew who was ringing with caller I.D I still would not answer it. Now, I call mates and answer to mates too. It wasn't easy though. I started by talking to my best mate and saying I am going to start calling you. Which I did. I just kept telling myself, "You don't have to keep the conversation going". One thing I don't like is that dead air sound and ya sit twiddling ya thumbs thinking, "what do I say now" It makes me very uncomfortable. But when the other understands it makes it easier. Then, when he would call I would see his name and say, "I'm gonna answer it, its...." The other day I was watching something, he called. I let it go to voicemail but once I was done I called him back and explained I was watching something and explained what it was, which started a conversation about what I was watching.


If you make the smallest of steps, its a step. Fear comes from somewhere in the past that has happened. Bullying for example. Being bullied cause all kinds of mental health issue later on in adulthood. The worthless feelings of the past can manifest into fear later on. So you may be doing something later on in life, feel a worthless feeling that may not even be related to the bullying but fear comes over you because your body and mind go back to the moments of bulling. You wonder why you're in fear because you haven't put two and two together and see where it may be coming from. Plus the body may start firing chemicals that bring on the anger. Which again goes right back to the days of being bullied.


Maybe you have a fear of driving. Why? By going back to find where it's coming from may help you. Maybe you were a kid, in your parent's car and got into an accident which caused a traumatic experience. That gets placed into your subconscious mind. Everything about it that you took in with all your senses. Then, you get in the car and wonder why you're afraid to pull away from the curb. It can be a simple as a sent or a sound from way back. But your mind has logged the details. Its stories from the past. Being replayed in a present situation that causes you fear that you can not explain. And wonder what is going on.


There are so many different scenarios when it comes to YOUR fears and anxieties that only you can go back with therapy and figure out. But once you know where they are coming from maybe it will give you some relief.


Also, see my post on Triggers. Which is related to this.


Many Blessings Namaste